Safety

Unshakable faith is what I attain to. Not yet what I have. Good news came by half this week, as my mammogram came back normal. Now I am anxiously waiting my ultrasound report, which will determine if I need a uterine biopsy next week. Another test I am definitely NOT looking forward to! We have a busy day of hard work in the garden, not to mention tending the children, two of whom are still laid low with this stomach virus. That should keep my mind off things. I loved this devotional by Elisabeth Elliot this morning, which captures how I am feeling just perfectly.

"The King's heart quivered as the trees in the forest shake before the wind" (ls 7:2 RSV), Isaiah tells us in the story of Syria's occupation of Ephraim. The worst had happened. The thing Ahaz feared had come upon him, and he was terrified. So are we when we seem to have no defense against something. We are at the mercy of an enemy--debt or disease or disaster or doubt--and we wait, quivering in fear, for our final ruin. Then we are reminded of our sure defense, the only absolutely impregnable stronghold--the word of the Lord, and when He speaks ("This plan shall not succeed, it shall never come to pass") as He did to Ahaz, we are safe. No power on earth (or in heaven or hell) can shake the Rock of our salvation. It is on that Rock that we plant our faith and stop quivering. ~ Elisabeth Elliot, A Lamp Unto My Feet

How to cheer up a sick baby

The kids have rotavirus, that dreaded stomach flu that lasts and lasts. Caleb has been hit worst. His fever is high, cheeks scarlet, tummy upset, fussy night and day. The first day, my mother's heart went out to him completely and wholly in compassion. Today, I find myself getting frustrated. I am a little fried after forty-eight hours with little sleep and even less time to myself than usual. As I type this, I am pecking with one hand while rocking him in the other arm, still in my pajamas, the mess of both breakfast and lunch still piled on the counter waiting to be cleared.

When cuddles and bottles won't suffice, perhaps a little silliness will fit the bill! We got out a new children's cookbook of Katrina's and found something fun to eat. These cheery caterpillars brought joy to our souls if not the sick tummies.

After our joy-filled but failed attempt at lunch together, I bundled the two littlest ones up on the couch in flannel blankets and comfy pajamas. They took a nap together, and woke up so sweetly. The close relationship of these two amazes me...more proof that God knows what He's doing when He sends a "trial" my way! I never would have intentionally spaced my children so closely - especially these last two, who are 15 1/2 months apart - yet it has been nothing but a blessing to have four little ones as close as stairsteps. The space between Amelia and Caleb couldn't be more perfect. They are best friends, despite the occasional fireworks that spring up due to their interest in the same things, toys, books, and activities.

When thou openest thine eyes.
Pray Him also to prosper thee
And thine affairs in deed:
All the day after, assure thyself,
The better shalt thou speed.

~ Rising in the Morn, Hugh Rhodes, 1540

Understanding the sting

My mammogram results came back negative for cancer today! The lump on my sternum is a piece of bony scar tissue, probably from an old multiple rib fracture I suffered while playing goalie in college.

Rosy danced on a red ant hill today, and came running to me, arms waving, a familiar look of terror in her eyes. I remember that feeling of consternation and panic so well from my own childhood. My mother once told me (the only girl in the family, bolstering female stereotypes faithfully by being petrified of bugs, snakes, and toads), "Oh, that ant won't bite you!" I wrongly interpreted her statement as "ants never bite". My first foray on a red ant hill found me bewildered and shrieking in pain as they crawled all over my body, stinging everywhere. My best friend, also covered in ants, knew exactly what was wrong and began flailing wildly, slapping them out of her hair and off her skin. I continued my crazed dance on the ant hill, trying to determine what in heaven's name could possibly be causing me such ridiculous pain. My father finally came to my rescue, and I will never forget my mother's horror as she bathed the thousands of red welts all over my body later that morning.

Do we, as children of God, do this with the words of the Bible, I wonder? Do we take statements like that in Jeremiah 29:11 (plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future) and assume that means we won't ever find a lump on our chest? Or that the lump on the throat the doctor discovers will either be harmless, or that we will be miraculously cured?
I would argue that sometimes the plans include lumps that turn out benign and draw out a response of new praise from our hearts; and sometimes they turn out to be malignant, and bring us through a million fires we would never have chosen but bless us indescribably in ways no human would ever request. When we read the assurances of scripture, shouldn't we also balance them with the suffering of scripture? Shouldn't we read them with the eternal perspective always fixed in our minds - that, in the end, all sorrows will be healed and all tears will be wiped away? I need to learn to recognize ants that bite, and ants that don't, in a figurative sense. To throw off the naïveté of spiritual infancy, and recognize the realities of adulthood in the servanthood of the faith: wars, battles, scars, wounds ministered to through God's compassionate - and unknowable - mercy.

And to the two secret servants of Christ who brought His love to my doorstep today in their beautiful, love-worn faces and backs bent to ease my labor:

How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news, proclaim peace, bring glad tidings of good things, proclaim salvation, and proclaim to Zion, "Your God reigns!" (Isaiah 52:7)

Learning from each other

As I watched Caleb playing with this little boy at t-ball practice the other day, I was reminded of the strong human bend to emulate. The church is an important part of God's design because of this: we copy what we see in front of us. If we lack mentors who share our faith, and role models who practice it, how are we to keep from drifting away in our own actions, thoughts, and prayer life?

I have been thinking about this as I contemplate joining a cancer survivor's support group. I miss the support - the opportunity to follow along in someone's footsteps on this difficult road. I'm going to search for a book, at least, that is specific to cancer. See if I can find one. I wonder about starting a Christian cancer support group? I'm beginning to think that might be a good idea.

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! (Psalm 133:1)

Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." (Hebrews 10:25)

Here's an afternoon treat that brightened my mood on this stormy afternoon: