Before I forget, I wanted to post a schedule for the coming weeks, as many have wondered where I will be and when.
November 3 Uptake dose of I-131 (around 7 mCi, if you're curious)
November 5 Uptake scan to determine where & how much absorbed
November 5 Appointment with endocrinologist to go over results of scan
November 6 Probable date for I-131 ablation (50-150 mCi depending on scan)
November 6-10 complete isolation in Chetek (no visitors)
November 10-14 North Shore of Lake Superior (Grandparents home)
November 14-16 either Chetek with family or Minneapolis with family
November 17-20 Swap Chetek for Minneapolis
November 20 Gamma radiation scan to check safety of return home & REUNION PARTY!!
His grace is enough
For who is God besides the LORD ? And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.
You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.
You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn..
he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed...
~ Psalm 18 (exc.)
How humbling to at the epicenter of a miracle. I was told by all of my doctors that I would be bed-ridden by this point in my treatment. I was told to cancel school, work, and anything outside the home for the final week of my hypothyroid period. My thyroid is gone, and with it an essential string of hormones that are necessary for human metabolism. In short, every cell in my body is currently starving for an essential component of metabolism. On a cellular level, there is no organ or body system that is functioning normally - theoretically. As soon as I knew that I was going to require the radioactive iodine, I prayed that God would choose to sustain me through what seemed like an insurmountable trial, one that could easily land me in the hospital. The specialist at Mayo wished to proactively hospitalize me for the entire second week of my hypothyroid period.
What doctors don't understand is that I am not simply a sum of my cellular parts. I was created from dust - life breathed into me as a single cell by God's choice and His infinite wisdom and grace. Through a series of miracles we think of scientifically as conception and implantation, the cell that was the beginning of me was fostered and grew entirely on it's own, without blood or circulation, oxygen or exogenous protein source. I was sustained by a beautiful, complicated mystery - God's decision put me in motion and keeps me in motion. He is not limited by hormones, or cellular metabolism; He holds the keys to life and death. (Rev. 1:18)
The cynic in me knows that I may find out at the end of this that it was a tumor that was sustaining me through this period: if active cancer is present, it may be producing hormones that replace the hormones my thyroid used to make. I choose to have faith, for right now, that God is intervening and keeping my wheels turning through this starvation period. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (I Corinthians 12:9)
Great is Your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along
So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me
~ Chris Tomlin, Your Grace is Enough
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.
You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.
You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn..
he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed...
~ Psalm 18 (exc.)
How humbling to at the epicenter of a miracle. I was told by all of my doctors that I would be bed-ridden by this point in my treatment. I was told to cancel school, work, and anything outside the home for the final week of my hypothyroid period. My thyroid is gone, and with it an essential string of hormones that are necessary for human metabolism. In short, every cell in my body is currently starving for an essential component of metabolism. On a cellular level, there is no organ or body system that is functioning normally - theoretically. As soon as I knew that I was going to require the radioactive iodine, I prayed that God would choose to sustain me through what seemed like an insurmountable trial, one that could easily land me in the hospital. The specialist at Mayo wished to proactively hospitalize me for the entire second week of my hypothyroid period.
What doctors don't understand is that I am not simply a sum of my cellular parts. I was created from dust - life breathed into me as a single cell by God's choice and His infinite wisdom and grace. Through a series of miracles we think of scientifically as conception and implantation, the cell that was the beginning of me was fostered and grew entirely on it's own, without blood or circulation, oxygen or exogenous protein source. I was sustained by a beautiful, complicated mystery - God's decision put me in motion and keeps me in motion. He is not limited by hormones, or cellular metabolism; He holds the keys to life and death. (Rev. 1:18)
The cynic in me knows that I may find out at the end of this that it was a tumor that was sustaining me through this period: if active cancer is present, it may be producing hormones that replace the hormones my thyroid used to make. I choose to have faith, for right now, that God is intervening and keeping my wheels turning through this starvation period. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (I Corinthians 12:9)
Great is Your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along
So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me
~ Chris Tomlin, Your Grace is Enough
Preparations
This is what it looks like for a busy mother to leave her family behind for nearly 3 weeks. A mobile above the crib, an oddity in a house where little sleeping is done in cribs; bottles, waiting in queue to be washed; bags of pre-made baby food for weekend trips, packaged and ready to pre-pack for my dear, busy, harried husband; notes on the children's schedules, their likes, their dislikes; menu ideas outside the bursting pantry that now holds 3 weeks worth of neatly packed groceries.
Lifted up
My encouragement this morning came from my dear mother, who has faithfully and fearlessly reminded me that grief can be a powerful tool of our great enemy, Satan. In a culture that accepts grief as an inevitable "consequence" of loss, she points out that there is, nevertheless, some element of choice in every experience of sorrow. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Pr. 27:17)
"Please read 1 Peter 5:6-11 and DO NOT GIVE IN OR UP to the devil! Not only does he want to devour YOU, but all those that depend on you! Your husband, your children, your friends, and all the unsaved people seeing and reading your light! It is a BATTLE my precious girl. I love you. I recommend www.biblegateway.com and reading this portion in the amplified, the message, and the NIV.
Love you. Mama"
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. (NIV)
So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you. Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. (The Message)
Therefore humble yourselves [demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation] under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you, Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. Withstand him; be firm in faith [against his onset--rooted, established, strong, immovable, and determined], knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood (the whole body of Christians) throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the dominion (power, authority, rule) forever and ever. Amen (so be it). (Amplified)
"Please read 1 Peter 5:6-11 and DO NOT GIVE IN OR UP to the devil! Not only does he want to devour YOU, but all those that depend on you! Your husband, your children, your friends, and all the unsaved people seeing and reading your light! It is a BATTLE my precious girl. I love you. I recommend www.biblegateway.com and reading this portion in the amplified, the message, and the NIV.
Love you. Mama"
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. (NIV)
So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you. Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. (The Message)
Therefore humble yourselves [demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation] under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you, Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. Withstand him; be firm in faith [against his onset--rooted, established, strong, immovable, and determined], knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood (the whole body of Christians) throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the dominion (power, authority, rule) forever and ever. Amen (so be it). (Amplified)