In 2008, I had a tubal ligation, a permanent sterilization procedure. It seemed fortuitous at the time, because I was to find out about my cancer less than 2 months later. However, I became pregnant again, even though it was a 0.05% chance within the first 18 months after the procedure. I found out I was pregnant while my 3rd child, Amelia, hovered near death from encephalitis. I have compiled my writings on the subject here and hope you will find obedience, hope, love, and a glimpse of grief in these pages.
The miracle of pregnancy
First glimpses of fear
Dealing with multiple trials at once
The bad news
Refusing abortion
Learning that my baby had died
Surgery to remove Theodore's body
Asking why?
Aching and empty
Coming to grips with loss
Burying Theodore
Carving Theodore's gravestone
Remembering Theodore
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