Next to me

You and me, baby, we're stuck like glue. We learned from the best: now married 40 years, held in better times and worse, through fat years and lean ones, in illness and health, pledged as long as they both shall live. And walking down the aisle at their baby's wedding? That same open smile between your mom's dimples, and the same look of contentment on your dad. Can we make do that? 'Til death do us part?

You're as loyal a person as I've ever met. You stick things through - and not with resignation, as if bearing me up is a task, but with ethic and love. The extra housework, the extra time spent alone with your kids, the conversations and companionship of many hours over these many months. You do not waver and you do not avoid. Every heartache of mine is one of yours, and for that I'm sorry. Sorry is a good friend of mine.

Sometimes I doubt myself. I doubt I can live up to you. I doubt that I won't ever hurt you again. My commitment always seems smaller, slower, less than yours. You are a 100% kind of guy: you love it or despise it, you trust or distrust it with no in-between. You give your all to everyone - at work, at home, with me. This rests over all those doubts like a light blanket in summer, shivering under the breeze through the window. Small reassurance, but better than none.

Oh, that I might love you as you love me! To be able to dive into each challenge and disappointment without hesitating! To love loving, to never feel used, to give it all each and every day. I hope I'm learning these things from you. I hope, if you keep me safe long enough, I learn to trust the world again.

Liebe dich,
deine Fraü

When the money’s spent and all my friends have vanished
And I can’t seem to find no help or love for free
I know there’s no need for me to panic
Cause I’ll find him, I’ll find him next to me

When the skies are grey and all the doors are closing
And the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe
When all I need's a hand to stop the tears from falling
I will find him, I’ll find him next to me
~Next to Me, Emeli Sandé~