View from the 11th Year


This year we've put it to the test
-'til death do us part-
Whispered an ugly word we vowed we never would.
I can't help changing
life forces you to
and you are just hanging on for the ride.
You say you love me
more today than yesterday
the ordinary with me eclipses our wedding day.

I have foundered
in the sea of discontent
I have been looking for my wings for years now.
You plod on
and keep us all afloat
Life raft on the ocean of depression.
Even when you can't
haul me out of the slough
You hold my hand as I struggle in the mud.

Your eyes are sadder
than they were back then
Your back is bowed from the load you carry.
But when we meet
outside the sorrow
Steal moments, let our bodies converse together,
Your smile is still true
soul's light not extinguished
you warm me with your pulsing life

and I am utterly undone by grace.

I thought I was walking
in a different direction
Turns out we're on parallel tracks
Though each new pledge
is painfully tentative
you call it enough, and gather me to you.
I'm no longer dreaming
of our old age
just the next day together, and the next.

I heard somewhere
that the first 10 years were hardest.
I heard somewhere
that the odds are stacked against us.
I heard somewhere
this problem we face is insurmountable.
But I am not listening
to the prophecies of men
I am not listening
to slackers and cynics
I am not listening
to the doubt in my own heart.

It wouldn't be precious
if it wasn't difficult
And if you only stay while you're happy?
Didn't we promise
for better, for worse?

We've worn out together
and we'll rest together
soon to face the future boldly again.
We both bleed red
the same humanness
connecting us and creating conflict
If I am too weak
to weather these storms
You will take up the slack and pull us onward.
Even if it is just
one dirty dish at a time
one floor mopped, one time you change the sheets
You have laid yourself down for me
and now I for you
I promise to
lay some questions aside, bury them with loving you.

and this marriage will win
against this ambiguity
this marriage will last
though it's made of dust
Or is it us?
Dusty souls
and perhaps the gold band on our fingers
is a halo
heavenly blessing
a benediction of possibility
that we can overcome.



Happy 11th anniversary to my incomparable love.




Five Minute Friday
Prompt: "Red"