New growth

We've been homebound for a long season this winter. Depression has shot a few holes through our family ship. The difficulties of the past autumn still weigh heavy at times, and I am frozen in place, children circling, trying to keep my bearings. But the spring is coming, and I feel myself begin to grow outward again.

In the tulip and daisy cornmeal muffins, the creativity beginning to seep back through my mothering veins. In the church home we've found and start to settle into. In the old friends all new again.

Through all, Aaron has been my rock, my helper, my companion in pain. Driving home from my cancer check-up yesterday, I had Jackson Browne blaring, and these lyrics perfectly capture how I feel about the world and my husband today.

The papers lie there helplessly
In a pile outside the door
I've tried and tried, but I just can't remember what they're for
The world outside is tugging like a beggar at my sleeve

And you know that the world, it's taken its share of me
Even though you take such good care of me
The dreams are rolling down across the places in my mind
And I've just had a taste of something fine

And you know that I'm looking back carefully
Cause I know that there's still something there for me
it hasn't been that easy for a long, long while
And looking back into your eyes I saw them really shine
Giving me a taste of something fine
Something fine
~Jackson Browne, Something Fine