Clay pots

"For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body." II Corinthians 4:6-12

I have always interpreted this verse to mean that I am a weak, lowly vessel bearing the matchless treasure of the resurrection inside. Yesterday was a day of falling down and getting up, only to fall again. I didn't really realize I had been under attack all day until I was preparing for bed, and realized that I had indulged in a little sin with a dear friend. I was horrified that I hadn't even thought twice about it! It is difficult for me to understand how, while being trusted to handle big, huge trials, I still fall in such a little thing! I woke up this morning with the reality of my little spiritual misstep and weakness bearing fruit throughout my day with my children. It abhors me and I am having a day of desperately crying out to God for more strength in the future. I pray that each day finds me stronger (through His undeserved favor) and more able to thwart the darts of the devil.

"I was helped toward this understanding by realizing that I was a clay pot. I saw a good many clay pots in Indian houses. They are very common; they were made out of stuff to be found in almost any stream and easily replaceable. What was in them was of much more interest than the pots themselves. This was what I was -- common stuff, replaceable, but holding a "priceless treasure", the life of Jesus. Only as I lived that life would I be able to give pride of place to others in esteem."
~ Elisabeth Elliot, Discipline: The Glad Surrender

Who am I, that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way for my ever-wandering heart...
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again?
~ Casting Crowns, Who Am I