The lingering effects of the vocal cord paralysis continue to be a problem. I have been struggling with depression this week, as everything seems to be "settling in" - my new level of fatigue and quiet voice, meds to take every morning and trouble swallowing. Everything needs to be integrated into my regular, everyday life now, which is when the hard reality strikes that this is not going away and I need to accept it and live with it now. I was reading last night in Where is God When it Hurts? about the two potential choices for the Christian faced with physical difficulties - integrate it and adjust your life around it with persistent joy, as Joni Eareckson Tada did, or choose to doggedly believe that healing will still come, as track star Brian Sternberg did. I'm not sure if it is optimism or pessimism that motivates me to be part of the first group - integrate, adjust, move on. I would ask for continued prayers, however, that my voice would get stronger and stronger. I will be entering voice rehab next week if things do not improve (maybe it will have the side benefit of making me a better singer??). It is a great inconvenience as a young mother to have such a muted voice, as I can't get the children's attention if there is any ambient noise (outdoors, busy places, even when the washer or dryer are running inside). So please join me in praying for healing in that one respect.
On a side note, my father has noted how the prayer requests in the right column have turned to PRAISE as this trial has developed! Once again, "praise God from whom all blessings flow!" for what He has accomplished already through this ordeal.
I will bless the Lord at all times
And His grace shall content me
My soul shall boast in Thee
The humble shall hear thereof
and be glad
Oh give thanks for the Lord is good
And His mercies and kindnesses always endure
I'll find my refuge in Your shelter
Under Your gentle wings I abide
O magnify the Lord with me
And let us exalt His name together
O magnify the Lord with me
And let us exalt His name together
I sought the Lord and He heard me
and delivered me from all my fears
~ Nicole C. Mullen, Magnify
1 comment:
It is a very . . . difficult and humbling experience to accept the reality of less than ideal health. We are so used to 'healing' from things, even surgeries, rather than having altered health forever. Yes, there is much to praise, and yes, there is much to be reckoned with, either alone in bitterness of spirit, or with the Lord, in wrestling peace and joy.
We continue to pray for you, for complete eradication of the cancer through the surgery you had, and for complete restoration of your voice. Love, Mama
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