Rays of hopes, fragments of fear

Amelia saw a doctor today (small miracle). The doctor was thorough, concerned, and helpful. Amelia has two lumps, not one, one about 2 centimeters and one about 1 centimeter, both on the same side of her neck. A wait and see approach was briefly discussed. However, blood work showed a few concerning things - although there is no blatant lymphoma or leukemia signs, for which we are so thankful. It is still possible that the lumps are due to an infection, not cancer.

When a doctor starts a discussion with you with cancer and odds being the first things out of their mouth, terror strikes. Amelia is scheduled to go to Mayo-Rochester for a more complete work-up in their pediatric department there, and potentially a needle biopsy of the lumps if that is warranted. This should take place in the next few days.

So for now, no, she does not have cancer. But yes, she could have it. We are still waiting for more answers. More prayers needed to flood the Throne on behalf of this precious girl. Please keep your prayers coming, and I will do my best to continue to update as we have more news.

God graces me with glimpses of His majesty in these difficult days. A moonscape of epic proportions flowing through blankets of clouds on my sleepless night. A deer bounding full tilt in all her tawny ballerina form through the green field across the way. Caleb chirping, "Mama, there's a BUTTERFLY in the house!" Amelia in her straw cowboy hat charming the medical staff today with her Amy-isms. Yet, the devil cracks the door ever farther open when fear provides an inch for him to slither in - nightmares and flashbacks like I haven't experienced in many months leave me confused and disoriented and seeking for UP and LIGHT. On the grand stage of suffering, I see the battleground clearly, God's army of angels lined up to protect us on one side of the green killing fields, and all the darkness Satan can muster in row after row on the other side. We descend into Narnia, and pray for a glimpse of Aslan as we prepare ourselves for battle.

Please post this blog button all over the internet and rally prayer for my daughter as we face the terror of the coming weeks.