Dangerous contrast

Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously: Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls. I Peter 2:23-25 KJV

We emerged from music class today to a rugby striped, royal blue sky. The bare branches of the trees against the vivid colors of the backdrop were breathtaking. The awesome, frigid beauty of winter is everywhere around us, and echoes the dichotomy that sighs in and out from my soul. Praying to be healed on the one hand; stepping out to make choices with my rational, logical brain on the other. A tightrope between trusting God and trusting the people God has provided to care for me medically. This balancing act has been on my mind often over the past weeks as I wait yet again for answers and plans. God has me in this place of uncertainty, prostrate before the throne of grace, with little recourse in the "real world" to arm myself with more knowledge or power. The cold air stung and tears sprang to my eyes as I looked up on this vision of His awesome, awful power: an entire segment of our country frozen for six months, where humans can only live by means of intelligent and careful intervention, machines galore. Yet, in this frozen tundra in January, we stand gaping at the majesty only visible in the frigid atmosphere above our little corner of the world, the blues of the sky crisp and vibrant in the crystalline air of the deep winter. My battle is like that, too - only surmountable by means of intelligent and careful intervention, at every turn threatening to swallow and destroy me. The very danger of it is also what lends the entire situation beauty - making the colors of life more vivid and the living of it all the more precious.