Being sick together

We lay in a heap on the hospital bed, her burning up with her daily fever spike, and me lifeless after a few days without my medications.

It's a sweet, sweet thing, her eyes open, her brain functioning normally, this just a scare in a long list of scares. She is spared again. All her sweetness and quirkiness and beauty and love. All there.

And so today, just like the other day in the hospital, I spend most of the day cuddled up in bed, squeezing the dickens out of my baby girl. I've decided to go to the blogging conference in Pennsylvania, but it has been a very difficult decision. I know she'll be fine in Aaron's capable hands, but it's no fun to be far away with a sick babe at home. I scan my memory, and it seems like she's been getting sick since she was born. At 9 months, she had a fever of 106 while I played for a friend's wedding. At 2, she had haemophilus B influenza meningitis and was very, very ill for her brother's 1st birthday party. Just after her 3rd birthday, diptheria encephalitis, and then for her 4th birthday, constant seizures as a result. I don't understand why. All I can do is treasure moments like the ones that filled today, cuddled up under a down comforter, comforting my sick little girl once again.

Please pray that she will be okay while I am gone. I feel this is God's will, but sometimes it is difficult to know if you're making the right choice or not. I have until 6 a.m. tomorrow, when my flight leaves, to change my mind. Hopefully by then I'll be bathed in the peace that passeth understanding and she is on a clear road to recovery.

Watching my children finding their way
thru struggles and triumphs and heartbreak
I hope the roads they take
Are making them strong
I'll still be on my knees
Long after they're gone
Love has made
Love has made
Love has made
Has made me unafraid

Love could make
Love can make
Love will make
Make you unafraid...
~Unafraid, Amy Grant~