A Fresh Blanket of Snow in August

And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet. For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified. And the Holy Spirit also bears witness to us; for after saying,"This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws on their hearts, and write them on their minds," then he adds,
"I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more."
~ Hebrews 10:11-17 ESV

When you are forced to consider the imminence of your own death, you are also forced to consider the many things you have done completely wrong, out of malice, out of anger, out of impatience, or perhaps sheer laziness or inattentiveness. Over the past few months, I have been struggling with the weight of the knowledge of all my past sins. Some particularly painful memories were brought to mind over and over again. But this past Sunday, I felt the burden lifting...what had seemed an inexorable process of remembering was brushed away completely by the comfort of these verses in Hebrews. I have, truly, been washed whiter than new fallen snow. I do not need to remember these sins, as they have long been confessed and therefore forgiven and forgotten. I need to strive to be Christ-like in the forgiveness of those petty inconveniences and hurts I suffer because of others! I need to forget...something that is not easy for me to do, with the memory God gave me!

I received news last Friday that my right vocal cord is still partially paralyzed, which explains my trouble drinking, eating, singing, and raising my voice. I am also still losing my voice completely and seemingly at random, sometimes for just a few sentences, sometimes for a few hours. It is just an inconvenience at this point, but one that is particularly difficult to bear. I continue to request prayers for the complete healing of my vocal cord, which is becoming less and less likely in the human realm the longer it remains non-functional. The specialist feels it could potentially be nerve damage after all, as I have now exceeded the time frame for healing from the normal swelling and crush damage following surgery.

God never moves without purpose or plan.
When trying His servant and molding a man.
Give thanks to the Lord though your testing seems long;
In darkness He giveth a song.

O rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

~ "O Rejoice in the Lord", Ron Hamilton