In search of pure joy

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth...(excerpted from James 1)

I am simply not there yet. I can't say that my joy is complete - that I experience the unbridled joy of kids with kittens when I myself meet with trials. I don't have that kind of tested faith yet. Is that why God is testing me right now? To purify...solidify...forge that type of faith? The faith that giggles in the face of danger and rests completely in Christ no matter what the consequences of mortality bring? That is not my faith yet. It is the faith I am still seeking.