Youtube holds the key?


Your love is amazing, steady & unchanging,
Your love is a mountain, firm beneath my feet;
Your love is a mystery, how you gently lift me,
When I am surrounded, Your love carries me.

Your love is surprising, I can feel it rising
All the joy that's growing, deep inside of me.
Every time I see You, all Your goodness shines through,
I can feel this God-song rising up in me!
~ Hallelujah (Your Love is Amazing), Brian Doerkson

It all started with a series of Youtube videos, sent to me by an acquaintance who "just happened" to be watching a show she doesn't usually pay much attention to. I didn't pay much attention at first, either. But something about this woman's story caught my attention: never before have I heard someone describing how I feel...not just fainting, but all kinds of little symptoms that I have dismissed over the years as personal idiosyncrasies. So I looked up the National Dysautonomia Research Foundation, and read a description, shockingly enough, of my trajectory: neck surgery recently, recent cessation of childbearing/weaning, hyperthyroidism related to my cancer supression, and increased stress. I immediately called my doctor to request a referral to one of about 30 physicians in the U.S. who specialize in this spectrum of neurological illness. My doctor, who is out of the office for a week, read the e-mail his nurse sent him. And called the physician at Mayo to tell her that she needs to see me ASAP, before they put a pacemaker in me "just because". I will be setting up the appointment in the next few days.

Mostly, I am feeling a bit awed that I might actually have stumbled across the proverbial needle in the haystack that is the modern internet. That someone saw a random TV show that may have shed light on my symptoms. That I can actually get in to see the doctor I need to see right away. That I didn't continue taking drugs that may have actually made me worse (the midodrine, in particular). What an awesome day!

"This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it—the LORD is his name: 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.' Jeremiah 33:2-3