For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. For every high priest taken from among men is appointed on behalf of men in things pertaining to God, in order to offer both gifts and sacrifices for sins; he can deal gently with the ignorant and misguided, since he himself also is beset with weakness; and because of it he is obligated to offer sacrifices for sins, as for the people, so also for himself. And no one takes the honor to himself, but receives it when he is called by God, even as Aaron was. (Hebrews 4:15, 5:1-4)I am thankful to call Christ my High Priest. Thankful that I am free, under His grace, to attend church wherever I feel called. I am thankful to have a new pastor who deals gently with me, one who uses his own story and sin to comfort those in painful places. The candor with which these pastors speak is evidence of their own reliance on God's grace and lack of pride. What a pleasure that God called us into this new community!
The weeks are full of graduation and birthday parties, holiday celebrations, and nights out visiting with my friends. By God's grace, I was able to sing karaoke for the first time stone cold sober. (I'm not usually that brave nor do I usually have that much self-control.) I have to take breaks, go lie on a bed with my music blaring through my ear buds. Shut out the parties and the people for little breaks to refresh. This helps the anxiety immensely because it never builds to the breaking point. Music and being alone are the finger in the dyke.
Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Romans 15:1
As I grow stronger, emotional pain begins to ebb away, poor coping skills fall away like scales as the new coping skills grow up with practice. Someday I will be strong enough to help others in their time of sorrow and weakness. I look forward to that day so much, and believe it is why God gave me the life story He did.
Excerpted from my Gratitude Journal, numbers 691-708:
691. Conquering
693. Walk to wrestle with God while on-call husband takes the kids for me.
695. Fireflies flickering, night bird sons, and lightening in the distance.
698. New computer!
700. Freelance pay covers an expensive car repair
702. Setting a date for my very first pilot study
704. Music comforts me in my sadness
706. Decision MADE to continue homeschooling after daughter was tormented at a birthday party
707. Singing karaoke with both Natasha AND Kathryn
708. Every day, a new follower - confirms what the Holy Spirit has prompted in my heart. Tell the truth, be transparent about your struggles, someone will be comforted by my story.
1 comment:
My favorite verse of late is from Psalm 126 "Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy." By using your tears to help others, you are reaping a harvest of joy for yourself and others. May God bless you as you continue your journey into healing.
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