To the ones with wild hearts

I am off to the pacer clinic at 11 a.m. and then to see a nurse practitioner and finally, my cardiologist. All are confused as to why my heart is acting up. Please pray they will be able to figure it out, and that if I need to have the pacemaker altered or replaced, that would be very clear to them. There is always the chance of a defective pacemaker or wire, and I am sincerely hoping they can discover if that is the problem today.



For those of you interested in the actual technical details: basically, my pacer is not "capturing" my heart's rhythm (so my heart continues to beat unnaturally fast), then kicks into a different mode, trying to "capture" the rhythm in the base of my heart. This works, but my own rhythm is still going in the top of my heart. So the top of my heart and the bottom of my heart are not beating in synchrony, which feels very uncomfortable at first and then causes chest pain because the blood leaving my heart is not fully oxygenated. It needs to be fixed - and hopefully the diltiazem (Cardiazem) I'm on will fix it. For now, it is still acting up.

This song - from Psalm 25 and 30 - encouraged me deeply in July when I had a different, equally horrible health event. My dear friend Amy singing it to me over the phone from Phoenix is in my "top 10" memories from my lifetime.

Since I am so sick
Since I am in need
Since I have no healing within me

Oh my God be mindful of me
You are my help and my Redeemer
Oh my God be mindful of me
You are my help and my Redeemer

Unto you O Lord
I lift up my soul
In Your lovingkindness I believe

Surely those who wait on You
Will never be ashamed
And all of those who call on You
will know the faithfulness of Your name
~ Since I Am So Sick by Waterdeep (buy here)

A good cover of the song on Youtube:





*Photos from an impromptu lunch date a few weeks ago courtesy of my mother with all my children and sister-in-love Melissa and her two sweet babies.

Today, I am thankful for impromptu love-fests at small town restaurants, friends singing encouragement across the long miles, Psalms that speak comfort in a stinging soul and aching heart. He is here, and not silent. Make Your presence known, Jesus, to all who watch us through these gut-wrenching days. May our peace be our testimony of faith when all else fails.


Linked with joy to Ann's campaign for gratitude: