For those of you interested in the actual technical details: basically, my pacer is not "capturing" my heart's rhythm (so my heart continues to beat unnaturally fast), then kicks into a different mode, trying to "capture" the rhythm in the base of my heart. This works, but my own rhythm is still going in the top of my heart. So the top of my heart and the bottom of my heart are not beating in synchrony, which feels very uncomfortable at first and then causes chest pain because the blood leaving my heart is not fully oxygenated. It needs to be fixed - and hopefully the diltiazem (Cardiazem) I'm on will fix it. For now, it is still acting up.
This song - from Psalm 25 and 30 - encouraged me deeply in July when I had a different, equally horrible health event. My dear friend Amy singing it to me over the phone from Phoenix is in my "top 10" memories from my lifetime.
Since I am so sick
Since I am in need
Since I have no healing within me
Oh my God be mindful of me
You are my help and my Redeemer
Oh my God be mindful of me
You are my help and my Redeemer
Unto you O Lord
I lift up my soul
In Your lovingkindness I believe
Surely those who wait on You
Will never be ashamed
And all of those who call on You
will know the faithfulness of Your name
A good cover of the song on Youtube:
*Photos from an impromptu lunch date a few weeks ago courtesy of my mother with all my children and sister-in-love Melissa and her two sweet babies.
Today, I am thankful for impromptu love-fests at small town restaurants, friends singing encouragement across the long miles, Psalms that speak comfort in a stinging soul and aching heart. He is here, and not silent. Make Your presence known, Jesus, to all who watch us through these gut-wrenching days. May our peace be our testimony of faith when all else fails.
Today, I am thankful for impromptu love-fests at small town restaurants, friends singing encouragement across the long miles, Psalms that speak comfort in a stinging soul and aching heart. He is here, and not silent. Make Your presence known, Jesus, to all who watch us through these gut-wrenching days. May our peace be our testimony of faith when all else fails.
Linked with joy to Ann's campaign for gratitude:
3 comments:
I am still praying for you my friend and thank you for being so specific in your need...He surely knows every need, doesn't He?
One of the many problems with my husband's heart is Atrial Fibrillation. He does not have a pacemaker but we have made multiple trips to the ER and they have put him on Cardiazem many times. It did help him and put him back into sinus rhythm. Like you, he carries his nitro with him...around his neck.
I love the song your friend Amy sang for you and it resonates deeply within me. Thank you for sharing it this night as I continue my journey with my husband and his now in-operable heart disease.
You are an inspiration to me in the midst of your suffering. God is with you and I know that you know that and He is surely in the business of making all that seems impossible to some absolutely possible.
Hanging on to the hem of His garment along with you and for you.
Many hugs & prayers,
Alleluiabelle
I love the song. I love that your sweet friend sang you that song. Ill be praying for you. This post inspiries me. Thank you for sharing all of your heart today.
Just read your update post from the cardio appt. I am so sorry that you are not finding relief and praying that the meds start working soon! (((hugs)))
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