Carving a name


I woke up to rain on a Saturday
it was a lullaby from the sky


but I felt like the clouds, heavy and gray
and I looked on your empty side


and cried


sometimes I think soon I'll forget you


The saddest thing I ever had to do
was to leave you
It was to leave you

The rain is falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
~Woke Up to Rain, Sarabeth Geoghegan~


Amy made an impromptu birthday cake with sand and an old tuna can while I carved stone. A year ago, I began to realize the "miracle baby" inside me wasn't growing in the right place. It felt right today to carve his stone. A year already. And still my whole body longs to hold a baby...that baby. Smell him and love him.


I dulled three cold steel chisels on that piece of granite for you, Theodore. My arms ache. It feels good to have them ache for some other reason than missing you.