What if you can't forgive?

Some of the pain is leeching out, day by day, the soul pain, the kind you can do nothing for. Friends lost slowly become benign memories, and are replaced by the sweet faces of those who ran toward you in your darkest hour.

Dam on Chippewa River, near paper plant

II Corinthians 2:4-10 has been a beachhead for my sanity throughout the conflict as we left our last church. The simplicity of God-given forgiveness confuses the intellectual, and sometimes even the person doing the forgiving. It is a supernatural experience to have God's love flowing out of your heart in an unstoppable rush when common sense should leave you reeling from the damage done. The assassin of your peace does not know one key component to this God-breathed forgiveness: with God there is nothing, short of true blasphemy, that could sever His love for both offender and offended. And another thing: both offender and offended will be forever changed as you engage in Spirit-led forgiveness, outside of the apologies, or the repeat offenses, or even your own feeling on the subject. God's Word has transforming power.

Overflow dam gates at the Chippewa River this week

Now is the time to forgive this man and help him back on his feet. If all you do is pour on the guilt, you could very well drown him in it. My counsel now is to pour on the love.  (2 Corinthians 2:5-8 Message)

Swirls in Chippewa River just below the dam

I'd be willing to guess that, no matter how heinous the offense against you, you do not want to be the one
standing guard, the spite of the offense in your rock hard heart, watching as the offender goes down drowning in the river of your contempt. So choose, sinner, to forgive in spite of. In this way, we will defeat Satan and champion our Lord, who delivers both the suffering and the accusers from guilt and shame and welcomes us all to the feasting table.

I was standing at the counter

I was waiting for the change

When I heard that old familiar music start

It was like a lighted match

Had been tossed into my soul

It was like a dam had broken in my heart

After taking every detour

Getting lost and losing track

So that even if I wanted

I could not find my way back

After driving out the memory

Of the way things might have been

After I'd forgotten all about us

The song remembers when

We were rolling through the Rockies

We were up above the clouds

When a station out of Jackson played that song

And it seemed to fit the moment

And the moment seemed to freeze

When we turned the music up and sang along

And there was a God in Heaven

And the world made perfect sense

We were young and were in love

And we were easy to convince

We were headed straight for Eden

It was just around the bend

And though I have forgotten all about it

The song remembers when

I guess something must have happened

And we must have said goodbye

And my heart must have been broken

Though I can't recall just why

The song remembers when

Well, for all the miles between us

And for all the time that's passed

You would think I haven't gotten very far

And I hope my hasty heart

Will forgive me just this once

If I stop to wonder how on Earth you are

But that's just a lot of water

Underneath a bridge I burned

And there's no use in backtracking

Around corners I have turned

Still I guess some things we bury

Are just bound to rise again

For even if the whole world has forgotten

The song remembers when

Yeah, and even if the whole world has forgotten

The song remembers when

My Gratitude Journal, this week, #657-660. Depression makes me so tired. I need to pull up my bootstraps and get back to faithful recording of those things that bring joy even through the dark days.
#657 The broken is bound up and cared for by the King of Glory.
#658 His blessings overflow our expections
#659 Unexpected day with good friends
#660 Melanie's wisdom, boughten at such a high price, helps me now