God is God and I am not

"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?" Romans 11:33-34 ESV

As a child, it was difficult for me to obey and carry out a task given to me by my parents if I did not understand their purpose. My mother had to develop a system - make a beginning, start to obey, then and only then could I ask, "Why?" I am finding the same is true with God. I need to make a start, prove that I am willing, begin down the path. I can talk with Him about it on the way, but I need to be willing to start down the path without all the information about where we're going. I feel like that is where I am today: on the path, unsure where it leads. That's true all through life, isn't it? Although we may have an idea of our immediate destination, the whole picture is always a little fuzzy. We are never too certain what the future holds, although we might be in denial about that fact! Which path am I on: am I a young mother with cancer? Will I be required to leave my children for long periods of time to treat this condition? Will I be a survivor, or a member of heaven in 10 years? Or is this all just a giant test, is God just asking me to take my life and my children's lives to the altar, as He asked of Abraham and Isaac?

"By myself I have sworn, declares the LORD, because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you, and I will surely multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of his enemies, and in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice." Genesis 22:15-18

And the pain falls like a curtain

On the things I once called certain

And I have to say the words I fear the most

I just don’t know

And the questions without answers

Come and paralyze the dancer

So I stand here on the stage afraid to move

Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must

On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not

I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting

God is God and I am man

Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me

He is first and last before all that has been

Beyond all that will pass

~ Steven Curtis Chapman,
God is God