His grace is enough

For who is God besides the LORD ? And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.
You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.
You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn..
he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed...
~ Psalm 18 (exc.)

How humbling to at the epicenter of a miracle. I was told by all of my doctors that I would be bed-ridden by this point in my treatment. I was told to cancel school, work, and anything outside the home for the final week of my hypothyroid period. My thyroid is gone, and with it an essential string of hormones that are necessary for human metabolism. In short, every cell in my body is currently starving for an essential component of metabolism. On a cellular level, there is no organ or body system that is functioning normally - theoretically. As soon as I knew that I was going to require the radioactive iodine, I prayed that God would choose to sustain me through what seemed like an insurmountable trial, one that could easily land me in the hospital. The specialist at Mayo wished to proactively hospitalize me for the entire second week of my hypothyroid period.

What doctors don't understand is that I am not simply a sum of my cellular parts. I was created from dust - life breathed into me as a single cell by God's choice and His infinite wisdom and grace. Through a series of miracles we think of scientifically as conception and implantation, the cell that was the beginning of me was fostered and grew entirely on it's own, without blood or circulation, oxygen or exogenous protein source. I was sustained by a beautiful, complicated mystery - God's decision put me in motion and keeps me in motion. He is not limited by hormones, or cellular metabolism; He holds the keys to life and death. (Rev. 1:18)

The cynic in me knows that I may find out at the end of this that it was a tumor that was sustaining me through this period: if active cancer is present, it may be producing hormones that replace the hormones my thyroid used to make. I choose to have faith, for right now, that God is intervening and keeping my wheels turning through this starvation period. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (I Corinthians 12:9)

Great is Your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me
~ Chris Tomlin, Your Grace is Enough