why?

My heart cries to you out of the darkness
I am laid low in this cave
My soul finds no peace
on a bed of stone all the night long
You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the peoples.
Where is your miraculous hand, O God?
Why are you silent now,
when you spoke so loudly in days past?
The troubles of my heart are enlarged:
O bring thou me out of my distresses!
Why did you shatter my illusions when I came to you for help?
Why did you allow that hour of happiness
when you knew the pain to come?
I am content in a place of peace and mediocrity
Yet you draw me forth to the valleys and mountaintops
to revel in your glory,
and to descend into pits and call out your name.
But you are he that took me out of the womb:
you made me hope when I was but a babe upon my mother's breasts.
O my God, I cry in the daytime, but you hear not;
and in the night season, I cry, and am not silent.
Where are you now, O God?
Heal my soul, that I might sing once again,
with the poets who clung to you in ages past,
thou art holy,
For you have not despised nor abhorred the anguish of the afflicted;
neither have you hid your face from him;
but when I cried unto you, you heard.
I will pay my vows before your holy congregation.

my own psalm of anguish, echoing words from the sacred
Psalms 77, 25, 22