Bitter draught

Driftwood
Dead fall
Fallen leaves
Frozen grass
Cancer patient

I feel the swift descent
into pain,
heavy heart
I know deeper the tears of blood
He shed in Gethsemane

Knowing
Waiting
Alone
On your knees
In the garden
Cold dew mocking

Plunged underneath
the surface of this pseudo-death
I drink your sufferings
Fill my belly
My mind

So that when you resurrect me again
to richness, beauty
Transplant me
from death to life

I remember

Loneliness
Longing
Losing
Lackluster

Love.

____________________________________________________

Scan is done. Waiting for results on Monday. Impression showed minimal residual uptake in the neck and no evidence of metastatic disease. Lots of residual uptake in my abdomen - this is normal, and just means I haven't eliminated the radiation yet. I will wait until Monday morning to return home, try to minimize holding the kids, and sleep in a separate room for another week.