I can tell by the way you're searching
For something you can't even name
That you haven't been able to come to the table
Simply glad that you came

And when you feel like this try to imagine
That we're all like frail boats on the sea
Just scanning the night for that great guiding light
Announcing the jubilee

'Cause the people who love you are waiting
And they'll wait just as long as need be
When we look back and say those were halcyon days
Down at the jubilee
~ Jubilee, Mary Chapin Carpenter ~

This song is a plaintive refrain of what it is to be searching. "Jubilee" - what we all search for in life and what we'll only really know in heaven. The latest turmoil has freed me to "come to the table, simply glad that I came". Suffering looses the bondage of the super-mom ideology, and allows me to simply be glad I am here. Thank you for that, cancer...thank you for allowing it, God. These are, indeed, halcyon days - days when the wind and the waves are almost magically calmed for a period of rest, respite, and unmitigated joy. Take time to click on the link above and listen to this beautiful song.